Previous New Years have seen me reviewing the prior years’ resolutions and making new ones. Well, not this year. What I’ve decided to do instead is review the ultimate lesson I’ve learnt in 2012 and plant a major new intention for 2013.
Lessons and intentions should stay in your mind and heart longer, while resolutions are mainly action plans which you end up abandoning halfway throughout the year anyway.
What I’ve learnt in 2012 is that no one really knows about the deep, big issues anyway.
For instance, from my own experience as a mother it became clear that doctors don’t really have a clue why some babies are conceived, delivered and ultimately survive, while some others sadly don’t (and especially why they weren’t even conceived in the first place).
They put it down to chances of success (of roughly 20-25% a month, and declining as you get older) but they don’t really know WHY.
No one really understands human emotions and actions either. There’s tons of books, research, talk shows and self-help topics on this matter, but no one really knows why a man would just decide to shoot and kill a group of defenceless kids.
Why he became and acted that way, no one will ever get to really figure it out.
The main point is : a lot of us are trying our best to make sense of most things, but at the deepest and most intimate level, we really can’t. Because they are actually at the hands of Someone Else. A bigger, higher Being above you and everything in this world.
So what can we do? This leads me to my main intention in 2013. I aim to have a clearer and purer intention in everything that i do.
For instance, if i really plan to have another baby, do i really want it because of my maternal instincts, for my son’s sake so he won’t grow up alone, or is it just a “pressure” to have a more complete family like everyone else?
If i am itching to have a happier and more flexible career in which I can be at home with my son more, is it because i really want to put his needs ahead of mine? Or do i want to be seen as a mother who is trying her best to put family ahead of career?
Am i actually scared of having a really successful career, for fear of all the responsibilities ahead? What am i really intending for?
That is ultimately my aim for this (Islamic and Gregorian) calendar year. If i can write this post next year with a clearer understanding of my internal motives and am in a better place because of it, I think it would be a pretty good year.
So here’s to 2013, and may God bless all of us with happier, healthier and more fruitful times ahead.