Dealing with couples envy

I’ve written about other things i was envious about before, but this is one topic i think I obsess about sometimes (and I have a feeling I’m not the only one). As i write this i’m semi-watching Giuliana and Bill on E!, the most adorable couple in the world if there is one. It’s funny, me and my sisters and best friend always used to say that Giuliana is so lucky she’s got Bill – after all, how many men do you know in the world who is that good looking, kind, funny, smart, successful and loves his mother and sister to death? And we used to say it’s her dugaan that they are still not blessed with the babies that they’ve dreamed of. And now she’s having surgery for cancer. Kesian dia.

Same case with Siti and her hubby Datuk K. If there’s one couple in Malaysia that everyone secretly wishes they can split up it is probably this one. Although they look so happy together now that you can (kind of) forget the untastely way that they first started dating and wish them well. But still the statement might come up, with someone saying “They’re rich and successful and happy, yet they are still being tested by not yet having kids”.

I wish I don’t really do this, but unfortunately i do – i scrutinize another couple’s happiness and success and try to find out one thing that’s wrong or less desirable about them. Why am i doing this, really? Am i really learning something from their experience and situation or i’m just trying to make myself feel good about my own life? Do other people do this too? I hope so (so that i’m not the only bad one here).

When I feel less satisfied with whatever is happening in my life, I try to remember something i read in a book recently about a man who decides to change his outlook of life and swap his wording around. Instead of saying, for instance, “Oh no, I have to go to work today,” he says “I get to go to work today.” I thought that was pretty inspiring and has been attempting to practice it in my daily life.

For instance, everyone around me knows how i’ve been attempting to conceive baby no.2 for a while now. But i realized that instead of saying “I have to keep trying for no.2” i instead should say “I get to love my son, my baby no.1” and be grateful for conceiving my first son, who is just such a good kid and an absolute joy. Instead of saying “I have such a difficult boss”, i now try to say “I get to have a difficult boss who is now teaching me a lot.”

Hopefully, the change in wording will lift my spirits and mood and make me succumb less to the envious feelings whenever i see a couple who is beautiful, rich, happy and successful and have gorgeous kid (s) to boot. After all, i realize, i have that too.

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1 reply »

  1. You’re definitely not the only one! I like to checkout other couples’ happiness & sometimes what keeps them tick too. But not in a bad way though. I guess it’s one way to keep me sane, knowing that life can never be perfect so be grateful of what I already have 🙂

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