Why girlfriends matter – and how i wish i have more

Two Saturdays ago I went to the wedding of a high school friend who I got close to during our 1.5 year stint in Melbourne. She got married (by registration) ages ago, but it was only now that they’re finally doing all the required traditional ceremonies and formal reception. To my delight I met with even more of my high school friends who I haven’t seen – some since we were 17 years old (which was just a couple of years ago, by the way).

The bride belongs to a close-knit girlfriend clique of – I’m not sure of the exact number, but I’ve seen a framed photo of them all together on a trip and I think it was like ten. Almost all of them are still extremely close to one another, and we’re talking keeping in touch by sending physical cards across continents – Asia, Australasia, Americas and Europe. They just seem to have that bond of sisterhood that you watch and go green with envy, because I don’t have such a clique.

Oh, don’t be alarmed, (especially friends who are reading this) I have a very good circle of friends, especially one best friend who I have previously written about in another post, who’s my BFF dunia dan akhirat, Insya Allah. She’s the one who has been there all along and knows me best. Well, that’s not actually true – i think she knows the best of me rather than my poor husband (isn’t that weird though, how you’re always your best self with your friends but can be a horrible version of yourself with your significant other?) But what i have are mostly close friends consisting of different circles – not one big clique of high school/uni friends.

Both me and my best friend have said before how we wished we had more BFFs; I guess sometimes it does get lonely, just being the two of us. But as my sister likes to say, What to do, go to Pudu. We actually did used to have a third wheel and I really thought that was our clique for what it’s worth, but, well, she left. And let me tell you, to those who’ve never been rejected by a friend, the feeling is almost as bad as breaking up with a boy. And in some cases, it’s much much worse, since after all a boy can leave anytime for falling out of love. But a friend? She’s definitely rejecting you.

Anyhow, both my BFF and I have no reason to leave so we’re still friends for life. We try to call or tweet each other often and see each other for a girlie lunch once in a while, – although we haven’t done that since I’ve been back – and we visit each other’s house (it’s too bad we live in different suburbs, if not we can do things like cook together). And our birthdays are actually 5 days apart this November so I’ve suggested to her that we celebrate on a birthday lunch that week.

Simply put, we make the effort to be close because we know our friendship matters. Heck, it’s the only thing keeping some people  alive – particularly Mat Sallehs who don’t have a family, like how you see on Friends and SATC (although i think they’re just hiding their famillies to look cool. Family matters even more, but that’s another story).

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3 replies »

  1. I am an army brat, being one and having to move around often, I never attached myself to anyone, so I never had someone to consider as my bff, I have 1 close friend and 7 best friend, I have friends who are just a friend and countless acquaintances.

    With all that statistics, having a best friend is something I do look forwards too, but at this age I don’t seek them as I seek them when I was young…..

    You have only one bff but tons of memories with her.. I envy you now..hehehehehehe. XD

    • Naz, what do you mean you don’t have a BFF? You have 1 close friend and 7 best friends! It’s true, it’s not a high school thing anymore but at the same time it is so nice to see other girls have that special bond and clique that I really regret not building one. But you’re right, i’m already very fortunate to have my best friend and we have a lot of memories since we met at boarding school at 16 (well, 15 and 2 months actually).

      Friends are treasures worth keeping nevertheless.. and I think we still need them when we get older, married, have kids etc.

  2. Aww girl, I’m so touched! I know, I know, this entry was posted ages ago but what to do (go to pudu), your BFF here is not keeping her end of the bargain to blog more, and thus, not reading any other blogs for that matter in a while!
    While I do agree that it sure would be nice and perhaps, cool, to have frequent lunches with a small clique of friends, I’m with Naz here that having one good BFF is better than none ;).. Maybe it’s because I’m getting old(er), that’s why I don’t feel too bad for not being able to socialize more. My friend time allocation is definitely filled with just my meeting with you (really!) so don’t u dare go anywhere!
    Anyway, I’m hoping that once u guys move back to TTDI, it’ll be easier for us to meet up, or at least for lunch during weekends. After all, OU and Ikea is just around the corner!

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