Chasing dreams

Last night, I finally had the dream I have been waiting for since, oh, 2008. Yes, I dreamt that I was pregnant with my second child – although some details of the dream were a bit, shall we say, annoying – which I shall ignore and only focus on the positive ones.

Yes, I know that dreams are just mainan tidur (silly dreams) or even mainan syaitan (devil’s work). But nevertheless it still bogged me why, after all these years of wanting, I have never even dreamt about it, not even once. Surely something that I’ve been wanting and praying for so much, would somehow find its way to show up in my dreams? After all, it’s only 7-8 hours of sleep every night, multiplied by 3 x 365 days which equals… whatever, so wouldn’t the probability of the desire manifesting itself as a dream during one of the hours of sleep occur already? It almost seemed to be mocking me, every night that passed by without a dream of conceiving my next baby. As if i didn’t want it enough.

But now I have. As i type this, i still remember my feelings in the dream as I stroke my bulging tummy – full of love, apprehension and fear. I remember telling the doctor “i haven’t felt any kicking”, and suddenly he/she kicked and I went “Ooh!” I remember thinking about my husband and my son, the two most important men in my life, and analysing the impact to them.

And even though I didn’t like some of the details in the dream, I do like the fact that I have had a dream about it, which I pray is a sign from Allah swt that the day is coming closer. I know it’s a long shot – that the dream will get me closer to the realisation of it – but if I pray hard and ask for it to happen, and keep imagining it in my mind (ala The Secret), ask for God’s help, I believe Insya Allah He will.

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Categories: TTC

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