As a wife, mother, daughter, sister and working woman in her early 30s, I know now what those ladies are always moaning about during the countless Oprah shows I’ve watched since being in my late teens.
“I’ve forgotten who I really am.” “I’ve been putting other’s needs before my own.” “I used to be a happy, vibrant person and now I’m just an empty shell.” These are some of the comments I remember.
It is definitely easy to lose sight of your real self sometimes. In addition to taking care of other’s personal needs and performing at work, if you’re in a conservative society, you also need to remember your ‘batasan’ (boundaries) in all areas of life at all times.
Simply put, you can’t just do everything that you feel like anymore. You have responsibilities, chores, errands and people who depend on you (not to screw up).
When we were kids, we would laugh, giggle, be amused, be curious, and be wide-eyed at most of the things we see throughout the day. If you’re lucky to have a good upbringing, the world was your oyster with infinite possibilities.
Now when we are adults, we sometimes forget our intrinsic kiddie nature inside us. We fear the unknown, potential pitfalls and negativity. Some of us even fear success and fame, afraid that it could change us for the worst.
What is the key to maintaining a strong sense of childlikeness in ourselves, yet holding firm to the values and information we now know as adults?
I’m still pondering this question myself. But what I know for sure is we mustn’t let daily life change us from who we really are inside.
If you’re naturally friendly and outgoing, don’t change that about yourself even if others dislike you for it. If you’re a risk taker or adventurous, don’t let this side of yourself drown amidst piles of daily chores and problems. Continue to have favourite activities and companionship of those you love around you.
Hopefully, you won’t lose sight of who you really are and won’t grow up to be one of those bitter, unhappy women who has somehow let the world pass them by.