I don’t know how to put this, but I think (or I hope) that The One Above is listening to me.
For people who are in touch with their spiritual side (or if you’re Liz Gilbert), that’s not such a surprising thing seeing that we believe The Creator is always there and thus listens to our inner hopes, dreams and prayers at all times. I know this too theoretically, but lately I feel like I’m really beginning to get this.
It has happened a couple of times before. I remember in May 2006 when I was performing umrah (mini-pilgrimage) in Mecca and Madinah with my family. Women and men were separated during prayer sessions at the mosque. I was 6 months’ pregnant, and desperately wishing I could somehow run into DH (dear husband). Then, all of a sudden, there he was. Small example, I know, but big to me at the time.
It happened again last week. I was nearing the due date of my monthly ‘visitor’ and was feeling all sorts of pregnancy symptoms (which I now know were mostly to my imagination since I was not, in fact, pregnant). Nearing the train stop, I called DH to ask if he could pick me up and I thought to myself (and to God) “If he’s late, I’ll go to the grocery store and buy a pregnancy test”).
DH answered and said “I have to go to the grocery store”. And I thought, “A-ha! It’s a sign!” I excitedly walked over to the store and met with him and our bouncy not-so-much-a-baby-anymore beautiful boy who ran over to hug me hello. As I held his hand and directed him to the pharmacy section, I realised that something was happening. Oh. Ok. Not gonna buy that test after all.
As disappointed as I was, (if you’ve been following you’d know of my current struggle TTC) I sort of felt hopeful and happy in a way. Because, you know, He let me know that it was not my time yet and stopped me from buying that test. I know He knows that if I had taken it and got a negative, I would have been severely depressed for the next 48 hours. So at least, this way I felt like it was still a sign, of God gently saying “It’s not your time yet, but it will come. And I will let you know then.”
So I’m looking on the bright side and feeling happy. Hey, I can sleep in a bit later, I can drink loads of coffee now, and I know He’s there listening to me. And you know what? It’s always, always great to know somebody loves you.