Talking about envy, greed and lust were easy – just blame it on the others. Now comes the harder part – sloth, which is entirely generated and attributable to myself. I’m interpreting this not in terms of being lazy, but not really being at my best.
Casting out corporate-related decisions aside (such as now), I have been on a rather unique (but Alhamdulillah stable) career path. On the outside it may look good – almost a decade’s experience in investment and finance with a steady growth in salary, positions and exposures; even an international location change which I’m grateful about.
On the inside, however, I am still confused as to who I am meant to be (career wise). Doing the Oprah.com quiz I found that I am striving to be secure and am thus suited for jobs in government, accounting, engineering, dentists and programmers. Eek! I don’t think so, yet each time I repeat it I get the same answer. So I look at my 2nd highest score – striving to be spontaneous – which said: police officer, nutritionist and broker. Hmmm?
So I did another quiz. This time, trying to find out what is it that’s really holding me back. And this is what I got:
“FEAR OF SUCCESS
You’re fairly confident in your abilities, but you balk at the pressure of maintaining success once you have it. You know that your achievements will breed higher expectations, and you worry that you won’t be able to meet them. You may even be experiencing what psychologists call impostor syndrome, the fear that those around you will discover you’re not really as talented or competent as they think. People who fear success often credit their achievements to circumstances rather than to their talent and other assets. The key for these people is to accept responsibility for their accomplishments.”
Now this is all sounding very much true, especially those in bold. Must try to overturn this and be proud of all that I have accomplished to date (and learn to take credit for it). After all, if I can’t believe in myself, who will?
I’ve actually done some brainstorming to find out what is my true dream career. What I’ve come up with so far:
- Investment fund marketing
- Islamic finance
- Private equity
- Nonprofit e.g. World Bank, IMF
- Social investing e.g. patient capital, microfinancing
- Financial journalism
- Financial TV shows production/content
- TV/broadcasting/production companies
- Magazines/publishing houses
- Go back to KL and work with parent company
- Work with mom (ie go into HR consulting and recruiting)
- Start own business – which requires another brainstorming list!
- Make babies, be a housewife and watch Oprah all day
Which do you think I should go into? All feedback welcomed 🙂