wniza

Archive for January, 2011|Monthly archive page

On.. the world economy

In career, economy on January 31, 2011 at 12:19 pm

We are, according to some economists, in the 3rd generation-long economic cycle in global history. The first was in 1870 to 1913 while the second was post-WWII to 1970s. The current super economic cycle, starting in 2000 (my question is: what happened to the 1980s/90s Asian Tigers?) and expected to last c.30 years, kicking the global economy up 10x from c.$30 trillion in 2000 to c.$300 trillion in 2030. From my calculations that’s a growth of about 8% p.a., which is pretty high.

The global economy will also grow 4.2% in 2011 compared to 4.8% in 2010 (source: IMF). This is a pretty good set of numbers considering the almost-trainwreck that could have occured to us in 2008/09.  I vividly recall seeing numbers similiar to this in 2007 when we were writing the Annual Report for the ASD fund that I was co-managing, with the global economy forecasted to grow 4-5% p.a. for the next couple of years. Course, no one foresaw that the GFC was at the brink of our doorstep at the time. I too had no such idea, except for thinking over our research head Ms Lim’s words in a meeting “Before China Olympics, strong growth. After Olympics, recession!” which almost proved true (for the developed world, that is, not China, which continued its 8% growth unperturbed).

A big distinction with this super cycle is that for the first time, emerging countries will be supplying c.70% of global growth compared to c.20-30% previously (no surprises here). Obviously we as Asians (or even for Australasians where I am currently residing in now) have been fortunate to be born in the right continent of growth driver at the right time. Bloomberg reported that the world is currently in a musical chairs game, with the G-20 (of which BRIC countries are members) already replacing G-7. Asian and Middle East corporations are already seen to be sponsoring major sports and events, such as Kia for Australian Open and Emirates for Melbourne Cup (which is actually wrong, but never mind).

So what does this mean for the rest of us? In my opinion, we are already in the right place and in the right generation (provided umur panjang that is). The developed world still controls most of the world’s decision making capability and capital, but emerging countries will increasingly assert a greater portion of it (especially on the capital part). On another part of the world, c.40% of the global population still lives under $2 a day. A global growth and income redistribution is timely and essential to ensure greater posperity for all. We should all be working towards that.

(disclaimer – main source of this article: Bloomberg Mag Jan 2011).

On… localism

In happiness, Melbourne on January 27, 2011 at 10:36 am

According to Wikipedia, there are 203 countries in the world (10 of which have de facto sovereignty or independence but are not widely recognised diplomatically). And thus there must be thousands of races, cultures and value systems out there (although in anthropology there are apparently only 5 human races). However, most of the time it feels like there is only only main culture that rules the world – and that is caucasian Western, mostly Americanised, popular culture.

Think about it. What are the brands that dominate our days? The movies we watch? The reality TV programs we follow? The role models (ie celebs) that we admire and endorse? The music that we sing and dance to? The cities that we dream of visiting? Rarely, if ever, do we count other cultures – especially our own – into that mix.

And the difference between them (middle to upper class/high net worth white culture) and us remains enormous despite the GFC et all. Just try and read one copy of a magazine like Vanity Fair and start counting – although I suppose reading Prestige magazine back home would be a similar exercise.

My colleague Jon from Minneapolis himself admitted this over lunch the other day. According to him, even the 2nd generation migrants to the States eventually lose their culture and become more Americanised. Back home, the sociological gap between the upper-class urbanites (ironically more racially blended, or seems to be) and the middle to lower class is obvious. The urbanites speak, act and work like the western society, striving for class, money and power. They would likely turn up their noses at local popular culture and prefer their cultured trail of English literature and art most of the time (if not all of it).

Why am i ranting about this? It’s not even close to the topic of the day of the challenge (which i’ve kind of skipped for now – the titles are becoming pretty blended to me). Or maybe it does (Day 11: Something about which people seem to compliment you) because one thing that people do say about me is the fact that I seem to mix well across all races or groups, and I think this is due to my sincere belief that at the end of the day, we are all the same. Rich or poor, western or emerging, white or black, yadda yadda yadda.

Perhaps I am thinking more about this since I currently live in a rich society (although I am unfortunately not) and I am benefiting from most of the culture and lifestyle here – developed world infrastructure (although sometimes the Melbourne train system seems worse than KL’s), food, TV/movies, abundance of free library books/free newspaper, well organised local communities (for instance, the recent Brisbane flood which brought about the Mud Army) etc. But despite it all, I have no long-term desires to migrate and live here permanently and become a citizen because I still love who I am and where I come from.

On.. getting over the next hump

In career, family, happiness, Melbourne on January 21, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Humps and bumps are aplenty in life – we are reminded on this common sense daily through observation of our own and others’ life happenings. Read the newspaper and you will discover true stories which leave you with emotions ranging from horrified, teary, amused or envious. God seems to decide on certain situations for some people, while giving more (from the human’s flawed naked eye) to some seemingly fortunate ones.

The truth is, it happens to each and everyone of us at different times and in different situations. Mainly, a new development occurs and you are left at a sudden crossroads. Having weighed your options you decide on a solution, embark on overcoming the challenge and sigh with relief, shout with joy or become disappointed (depending on the outcome of the effort). And so you move on to the next one.

The next bump in the road may not be clearly visible right after you overcome the previous one. Rather, you may be taken on a straight and rising path – which at a time may suddenly appear smooth and easy to manoeuvre. When that happens, watch out – a big bump may be building up, and suddenly the road gets rougher; the ascent becomes steeper; uncertainty beckons and you become nervous about how you’re going to overcome this sudden ‘mountain’ upon you.

Fear not, as this is life – it’s meant to be that way. If you feel like you’re not strong enough, or you feel like you’re the only one that’s come up across this huge bump, or have been given a few in a row, much more than you’d like – there are times you may feel like there’s been anything but – try and keep the faith. As my mom said to me, “What is life all about if not overcoming these challenges and becoming a better person?”

I am now at one of those crossroads. It doesn’t seem such a bad situation when i think about it – at the worst-case scenario, a return back to square one is less scary because it’s a familiar, well-trodden path, and it involves having more loved ones in our lives. At best, i can use this opportunity to discover the world that may be available for me out there. And whatever happens, I will always have my 3Fs. And so far, they all say i have the tenacity and ambition to go further (nak cuba jugak fulfill challenge topic for today tu.. ha ha).

As my mom also advised, I should now pray more, perform more specific hajat prayers and tahajjud, to find out the right path for me to take. And of course, pray for Allah to continue blessing us and allowing us to embark on another journey – physically (growing a family, working and earning more, saving for a house to settle down in), mentally (discovering another exciting chapter at work, growing as a parent) and spiritually (continued prayers and Asking for the best of both worlds).

At least, this is what i know in theory anyway.. :P

On.. music

In happiness, music on January 18, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Resuming the 30-day writing challenge and the title is now about something I’m best at. Err.. i think i’ve moaned enough about my lack of this being best-of business, but I’ll just amuse myself by choosing to write about music. It’s something i love, something i’m pretty good at (i can sing and dance decently but DH beats me hands down on encyclopedic musical knowledge).

I’ve decided on my top 30 best songs. They are:

Niza’s top songs of all time

  1. Let’s get it on – Marvin Gaye
  2. Virtual Insanity – Jamiroquai
  3. Wake up Boo – Boo Radleys
  4. In my life – The Beatles
  5. Rock with you – Michael Jackson
  6. Let’s stay together – Al Green
  7. In my place – Coldplay
  8. Just the way you are – Billy Joel
  9. One flight down – Norah Jones
  10. Road trippin – Red Hot Chilli Peppers
  11. Change – Daniel Merriweather
  12. Rock your body – Justin Timberlake
  13. Are you in – Incubus
  14. Viva la Vida – Coldplay
  15. Waiting on the world to change – John Mayer
  16. Livin on a prayer – Bon Jovi
  17. Need you tonight – INXS
  18. Till there was you – Beatles
  19. If you leave me now – Chicago
  20. Human Nature – Michael Jackson
  21. Love Foolosophy – Jamiroquai
  22. Kissing a fool – George Michael
  23. Maybe I’m amazed – Paul Mccartney
  24. (Just like) starting over – John Lennon
  25. Water runs dry – Boyz II Men
  26. God only knows – The Beach Boys
  27. California Dreamin – The Mamas and The Papas
  28. Give me one reason – Tracy Chapman
  29. Can I walk with you – India Arie
  30. Fly me to the moon – Frank Sinatra

Notice that there are no Malay songs yet. I say yet because I do, indeed, love Malay songs but somehow i tend to categorize them differently to English songs and they require a certain type of mood to enjoy (especially the classic rock kapaks) like when I am missing my home town and family. I’ll do a top 30 Malay songs soon.. err or at least a top 20. Or 10. Is this a racially blasphemous thing to say? I will rephrase and say I love Malay songs but especially those form the last decade or so. I am also officially in love with the latest batch of young Malay singers who are singer-songwriters who are very, very good indeed such as Yuna, Aizat, Faizal Tahir (well at least he writes some lyrics i think – and he’s a born performer) and Ana Raffali.

I am also thinking about music today because I just created my itunes account and purchased songs for the first time (i’m building a playlist on my iphone for my top 30). I know, i know – why buy when you can just download for free? I have nothing to defend myself on but I will say that a primary motivation (other than just having gotten my paycheck) is that iTunes is soooo… easy to use and clicking on the songs  (while in denial because I’m not really seeing that I’m paying for them) is kinda addictive. Anyway, i’m not buying all cause I know DH has some of them already on his iPod and i’ll just go and nick his later.

Back to work for now.. with the hope that I can get some work done so i’ll be able to start building my top 30 Malay playlist on my tea break soon..

Dream kitchen

In Melbourne on January 17, 2011 at 5:41 pm

I now know how my dream kitchen will look like. Every day on the way to work, I will pass by Outpost, a cafe near my office. It has a beautiful quaint open-plan kitchen and breakfast bar as shown in this pic below taken from their website:

I love to come here with colleagues (usually after pay day :P ) or even alone, just to be able to sit on one of the stools and watch as they rustle up dishes and handle orders. The staff are always friendly and they recognise me as a local already, always asking “How’re you doing? Haven’t seen you in a while” etc – not realising that my budget is limited and I have to pick the times and dates to go in!

Don’t you just love the pic? Imagine the ambience, the hustle and bustle. That’s how I hope my own kitchen will look, feel and sound like one day.

I.Is.Depressed

In baby, family on January 13, 2011 at 6:45 pm

I am SO not going to follow the challenge’s title today because it’s about something that fills you with excitement and joy – and I think i’ve written enough in the last post about how the 3Fs give me balance in life, i.e. they provide happiness and contentment even through the troubled times. Well, today is one of those troubled times!! And adding salt to the wound, (a) faith; i cannot pray at the moment (the reason why i was depressed in the first place); (b) family and (c) friends are too far away to make an impact (sorry people).

I basically got another BFN today. That’s Big Fat Negative to you; that’s cyber-mom speak within women’s online boards for getting only one line on your stick. In other words, i got my period again – and that’s one more egg gone forever (since all the eggs women will ever have are in their ovaries since birth; and the quality decreases as you get older).

I am desperately trying not to sigh and not to be down in the dumps. After all, i remember this cycle too vividly back in 2005 when i first lost a baby and took 12 months to conceive Umar. Reading the boards for support, I learnt the jargon quickly: BFP (the one everyone wants), BFN (that no one wants but keep getting), BD (bed dance), OPK (ovulation predictor kits), DH (dear husband) – a term i carry till now in this blog, TTC (trying to conceive) etc. And now, 6 years later, I am back at this place within the TTC cycle, 6 years older and with less energy (if I’m depressed like today).

Adding to it all, work was difficult today. The economic evaluation of a gas block in Malaysia which I have been working on since last week took more twists and turns as more information came in via various emails – that this should have been calculated this way; can a sensitivity be done this way; etc.  And now it’s almost 7pm, the office is empty, the trains will be empty (Aussies go home early – because they can), it’s raining outside (symbolizing the rain in my heart – chewah), and the bus service would be over and I would have to walk home (DH usually can’t pick up as Umar will be eating his dinner – plus it’s summer so it’s still bright).

Well, what Yani and I always used to say was – that life is like a wheel; and at any one time there will always be segments that are up (say, health, family, marriage) but some will be down (maybe money or career). I don’t want to keep moaning and groaning about my TTC efforts – I know I am grateful because at least I have Umar while some other couples are unable to conceive at all – and most importantly everyone is in one piece, alive and kicking and healthy. I know that and I certainly do feel that way. But what of kaizen – the continuous improvement attempts to make your daily life even better? Are we not allowed to feel the pain and disappointment whenever something we strive for doesn’t materialise? Sigh – ok, that’s just one last sigh – and I am going home.

On… keeping it all together

In career, family, happiness on January 12, 2011 at 6:48 pm

How does one achieve balance in life? That is the question every adult strives to answer; particularly a working mother who is trying to have-it-all. For me, the things that motivate and help me keep things in check are 3 Fs: (a) faith; (b) family and (c) friends.

Faith is a sensitive and delicate topic to many, but to practising Muslims it is simply (as it should be) the core of who we are. It almost amazes me how atheists and agnostics (i had to google to look up the difference – hey, I’m honest) can live their daily life truly believing there is no God, or not knowing if there is a God. And I don’t mean that with any intention to make offense – it’s just that I truly believe that the world has been designed to provide us with all kinds of challenges that the weak and flawed human being can only do so much by him or herself. Of course I can only speak for myself on this matter authoratively, so what I’m trying to say is: without my belief in Allah – and I pray that this belief strengthens over the rest of my life rather than lessens, Na’uzubillah – is the main motivation that keeps me balanced in life. And I pray that God doesn’t test me to significant lengths because I am still learning to be a good Muslim day by day; and I need His help and blessings in, oh, only in every single aspect of my life – my health, wealth, family, spirituality, career, safety, desires, work, the Afterlife – are all in His hands. And I am too tiny a person to even digest everything – how can I not need Him and ask Him for help?

Without a doubt my parents were the second most important force in my life and sculpting me into who I am today. My mom is the single most admired and respected woman in my life, and even now when we are apart, I call her regularly to seek her advice or wisdom. My sisters, who have grown into their own with their respective beautiful famillies, have always kept me grounded by whipping me in the *ss anytime I falter or perasan bagus in any way. My husband, the most important cast member in my daily life since getting married, is amazingly able to make me laugh and cry (sometimes in that order) by providing me with endless support and companionship. And let’s not talk about Umar – his presence in my world since 2006 has just made the whole universe 10,000% more beautiful and clear – like a blind person seeing for the first time.

They say friends are the family you choose for yourself, and if that’s true I have another extended, complex yet merry outer family. My best friend Yani is the friend I admire and respect most in the world because of her sensible, grounded self amidst her witty, beautiful (inside and out) personality. I am also fortunate to have a range of close friends who I can trust – starting from high school friends who I’ve known since teens (across 3 schools), to friends from the scholarship program I joined who remain one of my most baik friends (especially religiously speaking), to new friends from being in my new company and city. To quote from Umar’s BFF, Thomas the Tank Engine “Friends – are the most wonderful thing of all”. We may not see each other often, and I may not have a clique like most girls as my friends are scattered across different stages in life – but this is a supreme example of quality trumping quantity.

With all these 3 Fs behind me – Insya Allah, I can continue to venture far into this big, bad world… all the while hopefully with continued balance.

Skipping a day (or two)

In family, Melbourne on January 11, 2011 at 10:21 am

Oops. I’ve already broken one of my new year resolutions and the 30-day writing challenge by skipping the weekend and a busy working Monday yesterday. Therefore I’ve modified my resolution (because I can :) ) to say that weekends and some working days can be an exception and I can continue with the challenge the next available day, like today.

Day 4: Something that is part of your routine that you enjoy. Hmmm.. this is going to be a tough one. I’m not sure I would say there is any part that I absolutely enjoy, but there are several moments in the day when I can appreciate an angle to one part of the routine.

I’ve already discussed my typical working day, to which I’m sure my readers would agree there’s nothing there particularly enjoyable about it – ha ha. Thus, it’s got to be another part of the day – i.e. outside of work. I’ve recounted one of my favourite moments during my train ride – about silently cheering on other fellow passengers – so again it’s gotta be something else. I do enjoy catching a rainbow on the steps to my office on a sunny day – but this being Melbourne, a sunny day’s becoming an increasingly rare commodity – even in summer, so that probably won’t do either.

Having lunch and chatting with colleagues is pretty fun but due to my limited budget, I often end up eating by myself if the rest is out or running errands (it’s a very small office). Surfing during breaks and catching up with friends/family over social networks is another favourite time of day. But I would have to say, out of all the favourite moments or little joys during the day – the absolute best time is when I reach home and am greeted by my adorable, cheeky, grinning son.

And after dinner, when DH and I are curled up on the sofa watching a good movie – or our favourite Monday night combination of Glee and Undercover Boss (surprisingly addictive!) – while Umar is lounging around playing his train set – and the day ends blissfully – is when I sigh with satisfaction and feels that everything else is worth it, and thank God silently for all His blessings.

On.. being more than mediocre

In career, family, happiness on January 7, 2011 at 1:59 pm

I had recently posted a status on FB on a similiar topic a few days ago which incidentally is close to my answer for today’s topic, Day 03: Something with which you struggle. My post was as below.

Friends and family protested (bless them!) but, contrary to what some of them thought, I was actually completely serious and definitely not on a ‘fishing’ trip on this. I really think that one of the problems about me – is that, although I can do a variety of tasks and am capable of various skills – my score on each of those tasks and skills are probably at best 3.5 out of 5. Basically one of the things that I am struggling with about myself is that I don’t have a skill that I am 5/5 about.

Take for instance, the one skill I can do, and I love doing which is singing. No matter how many performances I make, I am very much grounded to the fact that I am an average singer at best (being the best singer in college doesn’t count, cause it was a small subset of the population!). Or the next competency I have and like: talking. Although my mother has told me this is my best skill, I disagree because (a) I can’t talk well in public; (b) i am too shy to ask questions in a large hall/seminar (or i worry that my question is an idiotic one); (c) my close family members say I have an annoying side in communicating especially when I ask too many questions; (d) I’m nowhere near the 10/5 score of talking legends such as, say, Oprah. So it’s not a 5/5; it’s maybe a 3.5 out of 5.

Next up: writing. Take a look at my writing in this blog – is it anywhere close to the famous bloggers? Er, no. I also lack the patience that a writer is required to have (I once wrote a short love novel which I started off well but rushed off to the end. Needless to say it remains not in public). I can write ok, and I have good English, I’ll give you that – but being a writer, a columnist or a journalist – remains just a pipe dream.

What about career skills? I am an educated engineer (but helplessly can’t even answer simple science questions – as DH has discovered – such as, how does a car engine work. I’ll end up googling it or visiting howstuffworks.com). I’m a trained chartered financial analyst with 9 years’ experience in finance (but keep having to google back for simple finance concepts which I’ve forgotten, such as equity/enterprise value or pre/post money valuation). I have decent Excel modelling skills (but have made numerous mistakes before, because I’m not detailed-oriented enough), presentation skills (nothing mind-blowing), and good report-writing skills (although I refuse to be doing this into my 40s or 50s). So that’s that.

What else? Cooking – 3/5 (recently improved from 1.5 since moving to Melbourne). Leadership skills – I once led a team of 10 analysts for nearly 2 years and, although I got validation from my team members, I never felt particularly appreciated by the top management (thus explaining why I left). Communication skills – refer to my negative side in ‘talking’ which can alienate some people who are close to me; although admittedly most other people will say I am largely good in this area. Well again maybe a 3.5 out of 5. Drawing/artistic/designing skills – at most 2.8 out of 5. I am interested in interior design and photography, but they both have aspects which I am not keen about (say, fabric design and camera technology respectively).

I would love, LOVE to be proven wrong and discover something that I am very. Very. Good. At. And that, my friends, is something I’ve been struggling with till now.

Day 2 of the 30-day writing challenge

In baby, family, happiness on January 6, 2011 at 2:33 pm

I’m out of ideas today, so I’ll use the challenge topic first.

Day 02: Something you regret not having done last year.

I definitely regret not having a baby last year. Although it wasn’t my choice (it was DH’s obviously) perhaps there was something i could have done to convince him on all the benefits to that decision. I now accept (a concept called redha in Islam – or is it Malay culture?) what happened, instead of being angry about it or believing that it is something I wanted (even deserved) at the time. Maybe i even threw up a tantrum, akin to a child stamping her foot demanding I want I want I want. Perhaps there were reasons why –  DH certainly had some good points – he was just starting out in his MBA program, I was beginning work in a new role at a new office, financials were not stable yet. God has plans for all of us, even though it doesn’t look good from some angles sometimes.

Also, another thing my mom taught me and my sisters was that there are two sides to communication. You have to communicate it well to the other party before they could understand and communicate back. So if there was a wrong decision done, it could also be due to my own weakness in communicating. Sometimes i tend to talk more and listen less, and other times I may not have been listening at all (particularly during said times of foot-stamping).

Anyhow, I regret that I was unable to provide Umar with a sibling in 2010 as it would definitely have helped his development and made him happier (to have a friend at home). However, I am praying and hoping very much that this could happen in 2011. I am less emotional and demanding about this (after all, blessings and gifts from God are not guaranteed to be mine, or not something I ‘deserve’) and more pragmatic. I see now, what are the things I could do? What kind of arrangements, or support at home, does my family need? What are the tools? I will be applying this to other NY resolutions too, as stated in this earlier post.  Much easier to get things done with good planning, usaha, commitment and prayers, me thinks. Insya Allah.

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